so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
