god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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