you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
