What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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