MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
