If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
please don't ironically join a cult
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