What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
