it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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