how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
