I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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