in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
