Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
