I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
