I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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