it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
