I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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