College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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