I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wear drunk well.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
