He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Randomize
