this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
