i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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