I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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