But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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