They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
