Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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