i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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