Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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