is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
