So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
