he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
