Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
