we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize