You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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