After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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