Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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