I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
