My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i dont even know how to be here
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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