I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
