Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
