Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
