It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
