she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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