dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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