My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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