Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
