And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
