Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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