Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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