Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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