if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
