tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
