she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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