I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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