I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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