Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your penis caused this!
its liver damage thursday
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
